Socks

This image is an animated representation of a pair of black socks. I do not own these socks. Any resemblances to your own pair of black socks or this story is a mere coincidence (1).

    This is a story all about how my life got twist-turned upside down. I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there. I’ll tell you how I under-shaved my legs, just by a few hairs.

***

    It happened around late-March, when the weather began hinting at warmer days to come. Bright sunlight brought enough warmth to make you question the number of layers you were wearing, before quickly crossing your arms as the accompanying cool, windy breeze reminded you of winters past. On one such day, I figured it would be a good idea to test my tolerance to the weather by popping on a pair of ankle-length leggings. Much like dipping your toe in the water before jumping in, I figured these lightweight leggings would be an appropriate transition piece between jeans and shorts.

    Although we were just coming off the cusp of winter, I had yet to shave my legs. Now, before I go further, please note: whether you shave your legs or not, is entirely your choice. I happen to enjoy the unofficial “shaving deadline” that is oftentimes associated with the arrival of warmer weather. I also happen to enjoy missing these due dates when I feel like it. This past winter, for instance, I decided to forego shaving my legs--except for some rare moments when I missed the feeling of having smooth, soft legs. Since I was ready to “dip my toe in the water,” I figured I would shave just above the spot on my leg where the leggings would likely end. The thought of shaving my entire legs, which were full of thick half-inch hairs, was a time commitment I didn't want to give in to. So I shaved a few inches of my hairy legs. Immediately after putting on my leggings, I looked down to admire my work thinking, the world will never know. To my shock and surprise, the shave was off.

The hairy right leg of the Samosa Fisher. Photographed at the time of the described incident, circa late-March 2021.

    As you can see in the picture above, there is a “rough line” (carefully curated by myself) that separates the hairy legs from the smooth skin. At the time, I figured that shaving four inches above my ankle was more than enough. But life works in mysterious ways. The leggings ended up being more capri-length than ankle-length, and that “rough line” was blatantly exposed for public consumption.

    Now, imagine my dilemma on that day. I was in a time crunch with errands to run. I didn’t want to wet my legs again and run through the whole shaving process (2) in the bathtub just for a couple inches of hair. However, going outside with these half-shaved legs was far stranger than fully shaved legs or fully unshaved legs. I had unintentionally curated “eye-catching” legs. The type of legs that lures the curious minds of random strangers, who make full use of their imagination to figure out the anomaly they’re witnessing. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating or overestimating the interest strangers may have in my shaving habits; strangers who realistically, would probably see it in passing and think little of it. Still, for the time being I needed to get creative to cover for under-shaving and for my laziness. And the solution? Socks. A pair of black calf-length socks. I popped them on, and to my delight, they stopped right on the part of my calf where the leggings ended. And just like that, I was off to go about my day. That was that.

***

Epilogue. The socks ended up working. While they scrunched up a bit at the top, exposing a small section of hairs on my calves, I was able to make it through the day unscathed. Now that summer has arrived and mask-mandates are starting to end in my part of the world (3), I know the one thing I’m going to miss for sure: getting away with social faux pas and fumbles. I’ll miss that freedom and sense of security that came with a hidden identity. Who clumsily sanitized their hands with a handful of coins still in the palm of their hands at the self-checkout station? Me. But witnesses to the incident will never know. And that’s good enough for me *folds arms, feeling satisfied following writing this sentence*. Lastly, to those wondering, there is no moral to this story. I just didn’t shave my legs enough when I tried to cheat the full shave process, and it showed. Literally.

Until next time...

(1) Picture credits for black socks: https://flyclipart.com/socks-clip-art-socks-png-334553

(2) “Whole shaving process” Okay, I don’t need to spell this out for people who have experience with shaving. But for me, Old Dry-Legs-McGee, my system when it’s cold outside focuses on hydration: lather shaving cream to minimize those dry leg cuts and scaling, shave-clean razor-shave again and repeat until there are no visible hairs, towel dry and apply lots of lotion and/or oil. You can kill two birds with one stone if you take a shower and shave, but that’s not the scenario I found myself in that day.

(3) In reference to “my part of the world,” we have reached a point within my state where 80% of the population has been vaccinated. Hence, the state-led mask mandates have been lifted. As I write this, the risk of the delta virus still looms over the greater part of the country, especially in those states that have largely unvaccinated populations. While my written topic above is intentionally absurd, I don’t mean to take away from the seriousness of this time. Who knows if we’ll see more variants continue to pop up with higher rates of contagiousness or other, more severe symptoms? It’s best to get ahead and take care of yourself and the community around you by getting vaccinated. I’m not an expert by any means, it’s just two-cents from the Samosa Fisher.